I am so conflicted right now.
I know that I love you and that you have a special place in my heart and life
I don't know exactly what that is but I have a feeling
Part of me really wants you to choose me
Part of me wants to the the one for you
Wants to be the one to hold you, love you, care for you, serve you
Wants to be the one who was meant for you
I want the very best for you and that is where the conflict begins
I don't know if I am the best for you
Part of me wants you to be with a man who is better than I am
One who has waited for you, prayed for you and lived for you before he knew you
I want you to have one who has not lived as I have
One who has not messed up the way I have
One who would serve you and love Jesus with you and raise a family on the foundation of Christ
I would love you and pray with you and grow in Christ with you
I would make you my one and only
I am changing, not just for you but because Christ has called me to change
To be different than I have been, to be the man I am supposed to be
I am not that man you deserve but I might be but there may be better than me
My honor is to serve you in whatever capacity I am to serve you
I want your man to be me but I want the best for you for yo to have the best you can
you have been hurt, cheated and lied to. You have been wronged
I dream of taking care of you bringing flowers to you dancing with you
Falling asleep by a fire with you, going to church with you,
kneeling down to pray with you. I dream of eating dinners with you and cooking them
doing dishes with you, watching movies with you going on trips with you.
I think of going to church with you and spending holidays with you and reading scripture with you
What if I am not the one?
I would be my best for you. what if the best for you is someone else.
Whoever he is I pray that he makes you happy, makes you laugh,
strengthens your love of Christ, gives himself for you as Christ gave Himself for the church
I pray he pursues you like Christ pursues his church.
I pray he loves Jesus more than you but that he shares his love for Christ with you
I pray he pursues you every day and asks himself every day how he can best serve you
I pray you find the best man for you, the man God has chosen for you.
I hope it is me but I pray for better than me. If it is me I pray that I am the best man
That I love you like Christ loves the church, that I love you like the man I pray finds you
